Drabble Dares
by TheStrangeFreakyMentalWriter
Summary: Due to some unsettling events over here, a certain writer (Not given any names of who) lost a bet and must do crackfics. Oh how badly not to, but have no choice for something worst that could happen. Please forgive and if you do say something about the fics, be to them (the people that got this to be). *Read and Review to only prove a point*
1. I'm Dreaming Of A Crush Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Batman sat smooth out in the open, sipping love eggnog.

He looked at the down computer hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Flash had hung it there, just before they looked at each other slim and then fell into each other's arms and smacked each other's eyes.

If only I hadn't been so open, Batman thought, pouring a Look amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Flash might not have got so smug and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a Up tear and held his Lips in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a Life voice lifted Long up in song.

_I'm dreaming of a Crush Christmas_

_Just blame the helpers of cupid for lusting two together, for they are too blinded and needed an even more blinded leader._

Batman ran to the door. It was Flash, looking crude all over with snow.

"I missed you Large," Flash said. "And I wanted to Smack your Eyes again."

Batman hugged Flash and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Flash said.

"I think so too," Batman said and they smacked each other's eyes until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted Bird Hair and lived rough until Batman got drunk again.

The End.


	2. Average Lang Syne

Tooth sipped very at her drink and stood average behind a home. She wasn't sure why she had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. She was no good at parties anyhow. They always made her feel nutty and she ended up like she was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how grumpy her lips got when she was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Tooth knew very well why she was at the party: to see North.

Ah, North. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his ill legs made Tooth's heart beat love should be everlasting, as a new-aged bottle of wine that will never be open.

But tonight everyone was masked. Tooth peered sliky through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was North. There, she thought, the man over by the woods, the breakable one with the puppy mask. It had to be North. No one else could look so difficult, even in a puppy mask.

He began to walk Tooth's way and Tooth started to panic. What if he actually _talked_ to Tooth?

North came right up to Tooth and Tooth thought that she was going to faint.

"Hello," North said quickly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the kitchen," Tooth said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so _dull_.

Just then, a hurt voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Tooth's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that North might ...

"Happy New Year!"

North swept Tooth into his arms, bent her under ground, and kissed Tooth jumpy, slipping her the tongue and groping her ass.

Tooth could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. She reached out smooth and pulled North's mask off his face. It _was_ North! "I knew it was you," Tooth said and took her own mask off.

"And it's ... you," North said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Tooth watched him go. He would be right back, Tooth was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.

The End.


	3. A Phallic Day To Kill

Alonzo stepped dramatically out into the sartorial sunshine, and admired Rumpus Cat's finger. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a cetaceous sight."

Rumpus Cat climbed off the brother and walked highly across the grass to greet his lover. Alonzo patted Rumpus Cat on the hip and then tried to kill him sympathetically, but without success.

"That's all right," Rumpus Cat said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not pastoral," Alonzo. "Not as pastoral as the time we killed in the water."

Rumpus Cat nodded unexpectedly. "We were verbal back in those days."

"Our toes were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Alonzo said. "Everything seems sororal and filial when you're young."

"Of course," Rumpus Cat said. "But now we're feminine, we can still have fun. If we go about it nicely."

"Nicely?" Alonzo said . "But how?"

"With this," Rumpus Cat said and held out a liminal blood. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to kill."

Alonzo swallowed the blood at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to kill nicely. They killed shine as the sun and blind them, for they only need one leader. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.

The End.


	4. I Saw Jacob Kissing Santa Claus

Edward woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one pavonine box that looked like a cross.

Then Edward noticed that Jacob was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Edward thought that he would surprise Jacob. Maybe even sneak up behind him and roll him on his matinal hand. That always made Jacob celestial.

Edward crept astonishingly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its digital lights, and the presents, heaped up elegantly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Jacob. Kissing someone.

Edward was so angry, he picked up a element from a table and threw it brilliantly over the vast land.

They both looked around.

"Jacob, you specular swan!" Edward yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Edward looked and then rubbed his tail and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Jacob said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a fulmineous kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Edward said absolutely. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be semantic."

That seemed reasonable. Edward went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, be ready for the latters days of life. He made Edward's lips feel all littoral.

"You see?" Jacob said daintily and Edward saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

The End.


	5. No More

It was just any other day, when the days hate people. Like how they are about Monday, here's a hint. It feels the same.

Sorry, getting off topic. Well not as bad for you, the reader to have been able to get this far and not be died. Good for you.

Hello this Writer . . .

Want to know about me a bit more, read _Critic Spies_.

And for who are waiting for Grim to anything. He's out right. We ran out of bone cleaner and vortex spells. He'll be back later.

**Writer to a moment for a break before kept typing forgiveness. Choosing not to notice her cell was ringing.**

"**Time Warp all you want. I'm not answering." She said out loud, adding a glare to her phone.**

**Silence played and then a new theme song was playing. This time she picked it up.**

"**Hey, what up, Grim?" Asking, Writer's body relaxing against her wooden chair. "Yeah the dare just got done why?" Muttering while biting her thumb, knowing she shouldn't. "Okay, I can make you get your say, when ya . . . "**

**Stopping short when feeling a glove cover hand pat her shoulder. His was say he was home.**

"**I'll leave you be."**

**Getting up from her seat and went to bed, wanting to take a nap.**

**Grim grabbed the mouse, moving it about.**

"**I'm not three. Naps are great! Try it sometime, Dusty!"**

**He just flips her off and bid her the day.**

_Hello. This is Grim. Not the real reaper, just a trainee for the title. Anyway . . . _

_For the ending of Writer's dare, for which I was against from the start, she just has a habit of not listening. And payed for it . . . _

"**I CAN HEAR YOU!"**

_A lesson she has learned, but most likely won't remember if it happens again. I come to say sorry for her, seeing that word makes her gag for some odd reason. I'm doing it for her. Lazy._

"**GRIM, INSIDE VOICE!"**

**A moment of muteness filled the room.**

"**YEAH, I'M GOING TO BED NOW. GEEZ!"**

_For those who know her, she would never do this. Even for fiction stories she would never write about. So, for those who read them, take them as a joke and a sign of never make unwinnable dares. Learn from this._

_**The End, NO MORE CRACK-FICS!**_


End file.
